As Christmas has wound down and the new year is here and I continue to find myself still sitting in the posture of gratitude. The presents have been opened. The parties are done. The goodies have been consumed (can someone get me a salad for goodness sakes?). And my heart is so full. I am so thankful for all that I have been given from God: my husband, my kids, my friends, my health, my work, my clients, my home, my dogs, my ability to be thankful and my desire for rest.
The reality is that in the past, I have PAUSED in gratitude during the holiday season and haven’t spent much time RESTING in it. I have spent brief moments resting and then jackhammered my way back to busy. Back to distracted (I called it focused). And pushed my way to achievement, back to busy, to productivity (but was it really?), back to checking things off my list and accomplishing thing on my NEW list (hello fancy resolutions!) without truly sitting in rest.
Over the past few years, after hitting a physical burnout that turned the speed of my metabolism into molasses, my hormones were in a desperate state of confusion and imbalance, and my body craved rest; I decided to give myself the gift I longingly desired- REST.
rest
REST:
Rest is a spiritual discipline that we can all benefit from. Rest isn’t weakness or laziness, this is the way I had once regarded rest. Rest is restorative. The definition of the word rest
verb
1.
cease work or movement in order to relax, refresh oneself, or recover strength.
Against popular beliefs, rest IS action. Resting is doing. That is a new thought to so many of us. In fact, resting seems counter-productive to being, well, productive.
There are so many references within the Bible where God instructs and even commands that we place rest as a priority. In Genesis, we are given the story of God creating the world and on the 7th day, He rested.
In Exodus, we are given the commandment of implementing a Sabbath. Multiple times within the book of Exodus, rest is referenced, especially in relation to our work.
Exodus 20:8-11 ESV
“Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor, and do all your work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the Lord your God. On it you shall not do any work, you, or your son, or your daughter, your male servant, or your female servant, or your livestock, or the sojourner who is within your gates. For in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that is in them, and rested on the seventh day. Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy. In our rest, we can hear from God and uncover WHY rest is hard for us.
Exodus 23:12 ESV
“Six days you shall do your work, but on the seventh day you shall rest; that your ox and your donkey may have rest, and the son of your servant woman, and the alien, may be refreshed.
Exodus 31:15 ESV
Six days shall work be done, but the seventh day is a Sabbath of solemn rest, holy to the Lord.
Exodus 33:14 ESV
And he said, “My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.”
In the Psalms we are instructed on rest:
Psalm 46:10 ESV
“Be still, and know that I am God.
Psalm 23:1-6 ESV
A Psalm of David. The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. ...
Psalm 34:8 ESV
Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!
Psalm 116:7 ESV
Return, O my soul, to your rest; for the Lord has dealt bountifully with you.
In the New Testament, Jesus steals away for moments of rest for himself, practicing the spiritual discipline of rest.
He instructs us in the book of Mark with this passage:
Mark 2:27-28 ESV
And he said to them, “The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath. So the Son of Man is lord even of the Sabbath.” This tells us, in Jesus’ own words, God gave us a day of rest every week for our own good.
And my favorite instruction from Jesus:
Matthew 11:29-30 ESV
Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
While so many are gearing up for all of the newness a shiny new year can bring and start making lists as long as CVS receipts with all of the changes you will make in the new year, I am inviting you to PAUSE for a moment and truly rest. Sleep in. Take walks in nature. Breathe in fresh air. Read a book. Sit in silence. Invite God to converse. Silence is my biggest personal challenge and almost all of my clients are in agreement with me. We don’t like the challenge of hearing our thoughts and thinking of all we “should” be or could be doing. I now prefer to sit in rest and ask God where the direction of my next 12 months should be.
You may question whether you need rest or not because you might be getting some good results by not resting. You might be making more money, accomplishing more goals, and gaining career success. But at what cost? Loss of sleep, anxiety, broken relationships, chronic fatigue, failing health and neglected relationship with God? And is it sustainable? Can you go on forever without resting? Your body says no.
reflect
REFLECTION:
Use this time for reflection. Change the focus of your thoughts from hustle to wholeness. We tend to move from one stressful season into the next without reflection of what we are grateful for, what worked well, what didn’t work, reflect on what your life looked like in the past 12 months and ask yourself what you would want to change in the next year. I use reflection to think of my progress in areas and celebrate it!
We must reflect before we can idealize the next year. We need feedback from God and ourselves. This is also amazing to do with your spouse. Part of thriving in life is celebrating where you have come from and all that you have done and accomplished. As humans, we have a tendency to look at what we are lacking and find ourselves in a place of constant dissatisfaction. I believe that if we took time to rest so that our body can heal, regenerate, relax, and find its way back to a sympathetic response (rest and digest) and THEN reflect, our levels of perceived stress would decrease tremendously.
Essentially we begin creating a life and health BY DESIGN- out of appreciation and gratitude, instead of punishment and limited will-power.
resolve
RESOLUTIONS:
You know the studies that show that 25% of people who made New Year Resolutions are actually still committed to them at the end of January and only 8% of those people will actually accomplish their resolutions.
I am personally NOT a fan of resolutions and here’s why: they tend to be “wishes”, very vague and broad without action or reason behind them.
I have been in camp “goals” over resolutions for some time because there is strategy, a path to get me to my end goal. However, I think that can also leave you in a place of frustration. If you have a list of goals but haven’t investigated why that is important and how you will accomplish them, you are left, once again, at the end of the year wondering IF you made any progress at all.
I recently had a group text conversation with some of my friends. Someone had mentioned creating 20 goals for 2020. The stress coach in me resisted. I coach so many women who are overwhelmed with “goals” and achieving because they think THEY HAVE TO in order to be successful in anything. They are working with me because they are burnt out, they are limited in time and energy, and they want a new way to do life. As we work on creating a healthy, whole, lifestyle, goals are minimized (I say 3 at most but 1 is amazing!). I am a high-achiever, I NATURALLY want a pile of lofty goals in my brand new shiny planner and it’s been a transformation to resist and focus on GROWTH over achievement.
Michael Hyatt is a productivity specialist and he discusses the idea of thinking about our legacy in goal setting. That really struck me because I found that many popular “goals” had nothing to do with my legacy. Rather than quantity and popularity, focus on quality. When I first came across this idea I realized that my frequent goals of “get to x number of pounds by x date” or “lose x number of pounds” or “make x number of $$” had NOTHING to do with my legacy. When I am gone, NOBODY will say “she really hit that weight goal every year” or “she was great at making x number of dollars”. Instead, I want people to remember how I made them feel; I want them to remember my character, my joy, my passion for health and helping others, my love for others, my humor. I want my husband and kids to feel deeply loved and treasured by me.
Habits & Goals
To create a legacy, my goals focus on the HABITS I want to implement. I have categories that I split my focus on: relational (marriage, parenting, and friendships), financial, work, health, spirituality, education, and rest. Within those areas, I focus on small habits to create in my life and I usually don’t focus on ALL areas every year.
Earlier this year, in my blog, I shared a few posts after I read “Atomic Habits” by James Clear. His book was also so great because it validated my idea that people aren’t successful by creating a wish list. They become successful in formulating a plan (which is often a lifestyle change) and slowly working into it. Habits start small and grow. Sustainable change has to be something you can carry on with for the rest of your life.
For example, I had ONE major goal for my business this year: to start a podcast. Within that goal, I had to create a habit to learn about podcasting a little bit each week. I set aside ONE hour per week for the first few months as I contemplated what my show would be about, how frequently I would release, what equipment would I need, how do I edit and make it “live” so people can hear it. After about 3 months, I set the date for my release and increased to TWO hours per week to plan a content calendar with ideas, create the artwork, set a recording schedule, set up a link to send to people I wanted to interview, talk to other podcasters to learn from them, etc. I had to get in the habit of being a podcaster BEFORE I was actually a podcaster.
I would not be podcasting 26 episodes later and blogging 3 years later if I just tried to do everything all at once to meet one deadline. That would have been insane. And it wouldn’t have lasted. I would have been a podcast with three episodes and called it DONE!
Health is the same way. If we get so stuck on the result, the change is very difficult to experience and results don’t come. Instead of getting focused on a number or a specific size, focus on the habits of a healthy person. Go back to what you want your legacy to be. Uncover your WHY for creating new habits.
To help you build new habits, I have something NEW & super exciting to offer you. I have decided to offer you a new coaching experience called XLR8 coaching. It’s not about rules or restrictions. It’s about creating good, healthy, sustainable habits for life!
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In health & grace,
Ericka 💜